does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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