Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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