i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
