Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
