HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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