Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
