i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
