do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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