If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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