You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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