Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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