Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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