so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
