just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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