Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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