you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
