She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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