I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize