we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
