I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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