You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
