rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
my liver is dry heaving
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