I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
