I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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