Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
