if you like me you must not know who I am
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
