he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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