But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
