Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
