i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
