im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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