I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize