I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
