I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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