I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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