Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
