in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
