hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
