I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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