don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
