And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
