the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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