Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
