This is not my ceiling
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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