I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
