Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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