her vagine was all disorganized.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
