Kareoke will never be a sober sport
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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