I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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