I love black thongs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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