This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
