I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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